Simply Live

“Live simply so that others can simply live.”

This is probably the most thought provoking statement I’ve heard this term, at least for Business Ethics. Business Ethics sounds like a normal subject in graduate school,  I’ve actually taken up the same subject during college but if you will think about it more deeply, it is truly an oxymoron. Business contradicts ethics in one way or another. Business is all about making profits while ethics is how we ought to live. I am not saying that it is impossible to make profits in an ethical way but it definitely is a very difficult task. When your goal is to make profits, you have to maximize your sales through various measures the most common of which is to do aggressive advertising. Most businesses are not contented even if they have the major share in the market, their goal is to be the only one in the market, isn’t that being greedy? How will ethics play a role in situations like this? How the concepts of business and ethics clash is a big issue, like laying off employees to cut costs and maximize profits, selling of products which are clearly harmful to our health like cigarettes, the list goes on. So let me just tackle one business ethics issue in this article.

The Philippines is blessed with agricultural lands, most provinces do farming as a main source of livelihood but as time goes by, agricultural lands are slowly turned into subdivisions, resorts, golf courses, malls, etc. In a country where industrialization is viewed as the only way to progress, this is a big issue. How many malls, resorts, golf courses and buildings do we all need? Did we even think of those farmers who simply wants to plow the fields and earn a living to give their families a decent life? Those capitalists who has the funding to build all those malls, resorts and golf courses can live their lives decently but it is the wanting to have more that fuels them to widen their ventures and rake in more profits while indirectly robbing the farmers the means to be a farmer.

Live simply, so that others can simply live. Yes, I am guilty as well. I love resorts and malls. I must admit that I love the city life, the urbanized lifestyle, that is why I was also struck by my professor’s statement. I am not saying that we should stop modernization what I just want to impart with you is to strike the balance between modernization and progress as against agriculture. We can live without going to the resort but can we survive with no rice or vegetable on our plates? It is simple but it is indeed a big issue. Maybe you can’t blame a business man for putting up a mall in a place wherein the population in proportion with purchasing power is increasing but how about the workers of the hacienderos who are earning a living through those agricultural lands that they will eventually convert? How about investing more on agriculture? Isn’t it profitable as well?

Business vis a vis ethics, its difficult to strike the balance between the two but I still believe we can do it. The issue I just opened up is just one of the many. It is actually inspired by the case of the Sumilao farmers. The case brought up a lot of realizations in me like a cup of my early morning coffee at Starbucks is more expensive than the wage of a farmer who works at a minimum of 8 hours a day under the scorching heat of the sun and yet here I am, complaining at times.

Three years and counting

After three consecutive blog posts for the past three days, I realized this morning that it’s my blog’s anniversary month.

I haven’t been writing much lately because of my super busy schedule, nothing has changed but surprisingly I was able to write the past three days. I guess it’s true pain can bring out the hidden literary side in us, just like being in love (of course).

Thanks to those who contributed to the 41,971 hits especially to the 20 internet users who hit the like button (I received the 20th like award this morning). Thanks for taking time to read some of my 178 posts. I don’t know if I inspired you or somehow enlightened you by my crazy stories. I hope I wasn’t able to infect you with my cynicism, just in case I did, I am sorry.

A million thanks to all of you who took time reading this blog as I narrate what I went through the past three years. From being a K-drama fan girl to the serious yuppie, from being hopeless romantic to simply being hopeless, from being idealistic to being cynical, from Philippines to the rest of Asia, from Thomasian to Atenean, from oil and gas to baby powder, I guess I have written even just a gist of my transformations, ups and downs and adventures.

Looking back I am once again on the same situation as when I started this blog, planning on leaving my job, still writing about a love that got lost somewhere. As a song goes, “you get addicted to a certain kind of sadness”. For now, it holds true for me but tomorrow I am hoping that once again there’ll be a brilliant sunshine shining on me.

Again, a million thanks.

The Truth

“Sometimes, it’s better not to ask for the truth but let strong suspicion remain just a silent intuition. Especially when you would be very vulnerable. I’ve also learned not to care anymore for every single detail. Choose what to let go and what to mind about. I’ll be wiser and better after this stage. But for now , my silence and strange presence is the best for us.”

 

I stumbled upon this status on Facebook some minutes ago. Funny, how people from different parts of the world are feeling the same feeling.

I always want to know the truth, even if it hurts. Just this afternoon, I tried to find out the truth despite knowing that the answers to my questions will just lead to some more questions. But as the status message goes, there are times when it’s better not to ask for the truth even if you’ll be haunted by your suspicions especially once you proved it to be true. Yes, I was right all along. I’ve suspected that these damn thing will happen but I hoped against all hopes that may be the heavens have finally rewarded me, my prayers have been answered. But things didn’t turned out the way I was hoping them to, it turned out the way I suspected. Once again, my intuition proved me right.

As I look into her eyes to ask for the truth, all of a sudden everything blurred. I don’t want to care anymore about the details ’cause I know it will just hurt more. As she said, “move on”. Yes, it’s the only choice we all have. Time won’t stop as we lick our wounds. This thing is of great importance to me but for now it’s best to just let go.

It gave me pain, it ruined my faith but it left me lessons and somehow showed the way to have more definite plans for the future. I know this didn’t happen without a purpose, I have yet to discover and understand that part. But for now, even if the wounds are still fresh and at times bleeding, I’m choosing to numb myself of the pain and just move on. I’ll just be silent as I’ve always been most of the time, plan on the things that I want to achieve and as I am still making plans and act on them as time permits, I am staying. I am staying even our presence towards each other is awkward.

I was just fine

While most of my friends are getting more and more pressured, I was just fine. I was so calm about the fact that I am on my mid-20s and I am alone. I don’t have an issue on watching the movies alone even if it’s a romantic comedy, I am totally okay. I am not bitter seeing couples passed by as I dine al fresco with nothing but a cup of coffee and a slice of New York cheesecake to keep me company. I am not envious of girls who don’t need to rush to get their heavy luggage at the airport’s conveyor belt because they have their boyfriends to do the thing for them. I don’t give a damn on couples having dinner at the nearby table as they look so lovingly on each other’s eyes. But yes, I hate seeing roses on Valentine’s Day. Aside from this weird thing, I was just fine.

I have given up on love but then, I realized I should not, there is still hope. It will come at the right time, at the right place for now let me enjoy my free weekends, my LQ free nights and hassle free travels (no boyfriends to report to). I was just fine, alone but contented, calm and hopeful.

Then you came, stirring away all the calmness. You watched the movie that made me cry buckets of tears even if it means extra effort for you to understand. You made me realize that the cheesecake tastes extra delicious when shared. You carried that heavy bag with no complaints and without me having to ask. You made weekend afternoons something to look forward to. You made me realize that it feels good to know that someone cares if I am sick or tired or if I have eaten my meal. You made me feel safe. You assured me that I look good any time of the day. You made me feel normal as I discovered that we shared the same quirks. You made me feel that it feels good to be special. And yes, you gave me a rose that Valentine’s Day.

Because of you I welcomed the idea of togetherness, that while I was okay being alone being with someone is a lot better. You made me discover that I am not a selfish brat, without a conscious effort I know how to care for someone. I like the feeling. I never thought that I would care if someone has eaten his meal, or if he got home safely because he stayed out quite late just to ensure that I got home safe. I never thought that this is what it means to care.

I was happy before you came and you made me happier. You surprised me with the things I discover about you every time we are together. I used to easily get sad but your reassurance made me smile. I don’t know what happened, you came by unannounced and for some time I thought you are a pleasant surprise.

You came unannounced and left just the same. Now, I am back to being alone but the calmness has vanished. At times, it feels like I miss you so bad. The places brings back memories, familiar scenarios remind me of you. How I wish we didn’t had those conversations, that we won’t be having a dog ‘cause neither of us are animal lovers, we don’t like the idea of a puppy licking his master’s face and task of cleaning up the dog’s poop. I laughed at you about it, reminded you that you may have to do it later on; you smiled and said its ok, it’s ok if it’s your baby’s poop. You said that organizing the house is the girl’s job but you’ll help on initially organizing the things, maintaining things in order is hard for you but it’s ok to touch your things, you just have to be informed where your things are. These simple conversations made me dream a life that is so different from what I used to imagine. Sometimes it even feels like you’re just beside me, popping out of thin air and say something that can remove my worries, something that can take away all the sadness.

Now I’ve began to dream a life with someone. It makes me feel sad to watch a movie alone. I feel bitter towards couples walking as they hold each other’s hand. The luggage now feels extra heavy when I see a guy picking up his girlfriend’s suitcase. The meal becomes less tasty when there’s a couple beside me. Now, I hate Valentine’s Day even more.

I now pity myself whenever I’m away from home and sick. I sigh as I shut down my computer at 10pm. It feels so sad that no one cares about me except for my mom. My phone has become just a mere alarm clock and sometimes a game gadget. Everything has changed, the way I look at things changed.

I used to be alone but I was just fine until you came. You made me feel how it feels like to have someone beside me to hold my hand when I’m scared, when I’m nervous, when I’m sad or when I simply want to feel that someone is there for me. You introduced me to that idea which I welcomed with open arms. I like the feeling of having someone, I love the feeling; I enjoy it. So now, I am in panic, I need to find someone to be with, someone to share my life with. ‘Cause while there is nothing wrong with being alone, life is still better when shared with someone.

The week that was…

Nervous Monday * Promising Tuesday * Cliffhanger Wednesday * Devastating Thursday * Awkward Friday

It’s crazy how so much can happen in just five days, from happy and hopeful to devastated, one minute you are appreciated then you are backstabbed the next, from being in the loop to feeling like being excommunicated. The sudden turn of events, the highs and lows of emotions, how people change their personas, it’s crazier and a lot more unpredictable than the effects global warming has on the weather. While sudden changes make life a lot more exciting, it doesn’t always make you feel game for the ride, especially when the breeze you are enjoying stinks all of a sudden.

It’s been a normal thing to deal with people across Asia for the past two years but to lead a region-wide teleconference involving 13 countries still sends some weird chills down my spine at least for the first minute. I’ve always find it a bit difficult to start a teleconference for fear of being too formal or not being considerate if everybody is ready but after the somewhat shaky start up, I am okay. But more than my telecon start up issues, I was actually nervous ’cause it was my project’s initial testing last Monday. As I’ve mentioned on my tweets, this project has caused me a lot of stress and sometimes even heart breaks but it does make me feel proud, it empowers me in a certain way. After all, who wouldn’t get nervous if it’s communicated to the higher ups in the Regional Office.

Then, there’s this promising opportunity that knocked on my doorstep. Despite some hesitations, I welcomed it, I was almost pushed by my boss to welcome it. Come Tuesday, I was interviewed for a bigger post in the company. Despite the absence of direct words by the interviewer, it was clearly insinuated that I’m on the brink of getting the position. With my hopes high and my faith strong, I composed myself to be ready for it.

It felt like being on the edge of the cliff when Wednesday came, I waited for the final stage. I’m kinda anxious but I reminded myself from time to time of all the assurances that I got from some people. My hopes are still high and my faith intact as I wait for the confirmation.

But my world crashed the next morning, it felt like I was robbed of everything, like I was belittled, betrayed, played on, it even felt like a hole is punched in my heart. My high hopes and strong faith crumbled, leaving me nothing but ruined trust on people, some of whom I used to look up to. It’s like the world has gone crazy all of a sudden. What happened to the strong recommendation? Where did it go? What was that? Did they just want me to take the poisoned apple? They should have just pushed me to the wall. They should have just slap my face. What’s with the sudden topsy turvy? What is it that I’ve done wrong. Yesterday, it was me, now it’s her? I know I should play a good sport but you can only find that on a fair playing field. You said there’s no politics in here? You said there’s no favoritism? But what is this? This feeling is much more worse than a broken a heart, the pain is unimaginable, you snatched something from me right under my nose even before I took hold of it.

With all the crazy turn of events, despite my broken faith, life has to go on no matter how ugly a day is. It was a day of awkward moments, some being distant because of the fear of being questioned, some can’t even look me in the eye because they know they did something wrong. My heart is still in pain but it doesn’t mean I can’t fight. This war has just begun and they are the ones who started it. I’ve got questions and I need clear answers even if I am sure that their answers will just lead to more questions, questions which they can never be honest enough to answer. Now that my faith is broken, it doesn’t seem right to still go on and put an important aspect of my life in their hands.

The work week ended badly but as I lay down and contemplate, I asked for it, without me knowing I asked for it. For a long time I’ve prayed for guidance, for countless times I said “Thy will be done”. Maybe, this is God’s way of giving me what I am asking for, it is His way of taking me to where I should be. The signs are obvious, each day gives a reason to leave and erasing a reason to stay. I am not sure where God wants to take me but my prayers remain the same “Thy will be done.”