The Prayer

Caleruega Church in Nasugbu, Batangas
March 2010

Thank You Lord! Thy Will Be Done!

I have always believed that no one gets to achieve something by sheer luck. Last month, my efforts had somehow paid off. I received the good news that I was promoted. I believe that I have worked hard for it but aside from this God blessed me with a lot of opportunities to make myself worthy of the promotion. I won’t deny that I have complaints with my job, I still have some until now. I guess it’s normal, ’cause there is no such thing as a perfect job as they say. Behind those complaints, I was unaware of the blessing that is right in front of me.

 

First, I have the opportunity to learn at least most of the technical requirements ’cause I am my boss’ only choice since we are only two in the team. Also, early this year I was given the task to work on a project with a scope that overwhelmed me at first. There were times when it felt so stressful but the idea of quitting never crossed my mind, its my responsibility so I must do what I have to do.

For a while, it felt like there is no direction as to why I keep on doing these things, kept on increasing my job scope to the point of being involve with the processes of other countries, doing overtime work is almost normal, stress accumulates and I felt no appreciation at all. This promotion was such a surprise not because I was not hoping for it, I’ll be a hypocrite to tell you that but rather it surprising ’cause I felt quite rewarded after it was given to me.

I was not the only who received an upgrade, we are three to be exact. I am in no position to tell you the details about the other two but all I can say is, while some expectations were not meant a promotion is still something to be happy about, at least for me. A percentage increase may not be able to match what the others can offer but again a promotion is still a promotion. Thank you Lord! Thank you for this blessing despite my complaints and discontent. I am not sure what’s ahead but Thy will be done.

A prayer of thanks

Our Heavenly Father,

May you forgive our sins, our shortcomings, our misgivings.

Make us worthy to be called as your children.

Thank you Lord for all your blessings.

Thank you for ever my loving and supportive family.

Thank you Lord for dear friends who are always there to add joys to my everyday life.

Thank you for my job that makes me feel worthy.

Thank you for giving me the ability and resources to enrich my intellect through gradate school.

Thank you for the opportunity to appreciate the many faces of your creation through travels.

Thank you for the strength to face life’s trials.

Thank you for your guidance.

We are humbly asking you to continue showering us with your love.

Guide us O Lord.

Keep us safe and in the pink of health.

May our bonds with the people we love grow tighter.

May this month end close be peaceful for our team.

May the project run smoothly.

Lord, guide me as I face career decisions.

And lastly, may you finally grant me the gift of romantic love.

Amen.

“I just suddenly felt the need the write a prayer today. After all the drama, opinions, stories and travels, it feels good to write something for our Divine Creator.”

I love it, just the way you are

He looks at me like I’m the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, he captures my smiles whether I’m prepared or not, he compliments me every time, he reassures me and gives me the confidence. Sometimes I don’t want to believe him ’cause his words are too good to be true but he keeps on telling me that his praises are genuine, it sometimes feels like he’s singing “Just the way you are” for me. I often catch him staring at me, waiting for the perfect timing to immortalize me in pictures. He keeps on asking me things to get to know me more. I love the attention he’s giving me. I don’t know what is this. We’re friends, that’s for sure but despite of all the signs he’s not courting me. Maybe, I’m just assuming things but I must admit that I enjoy whatever it is. He’s not the one I use to imagine, he’s not as handsome as I could wish. He’s too opinionated at times, he even lacks warmth but he is kind hearted. He over analyzes things, which is quite funny ’cause I always thought that one of the reasons why I’m still single is because of the same offense, turns out there is someone more guilty than I am. I know he’s searching, but I think even if he already likes someone or might already be in love, he wouldn’t realize it, either because he’s not entertaining the thought or he’s just too clueless. That’s his downside, I think he needs someone to open up the world of vulnerability to human emotions for him. Am I ready to be that someone?

I enjoy whatever it is that exists right now but I don’t know the real score and besides we’re going to be miles apart soon but whatever it is, thanks to him for making me feel happy.

96th post

21,700 hits, 96th post, 10 categories, 801 tags, 86 comments as of the second day of October. So far, this is my longest running blog, a year and four months. I know I should’ve done this as an anniversary post but my schedule was jampacked that time. I was on my way home when I thought of writing this. For the past few days, I spent some hours revisiting all my previous posts and editing some of the typographical errors. One of the weird things about me is that I don’t do final reading when I write something, a lesson that I should’ve learned long, long time ago. Even at work, I don’t do final reading of whatever report I have written. But in blog entries like this, I usually read my writings after a month at the shortest, that’s the only time I discover the flaws of my composition.

But it’s not the writing errors that surprised me but rather the discovery of what I once felt while I was writing those previous blog posts. It felt like the one who wrote it is a stranger to me. I didn’t realize how hurt or desperate I was with my former job.  I also didn’t realize that my Toasted Marshmallows entries are 90% about a “could have been”, it’s surprising to find out that I once felt that way. I also didn’t know that I almost wrote the entire 25 episodes of Boys Over Flower in my 10 part writing series. Lastly, I must also admit that I sound quite conceited for some or maybe most of my posts. I guess, that’s another thing about me, I tend to make myself believe that I’m better at this and that so as not to give permission to those people who’re trying to destroy my confidence, I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing, all I know is that such defense mechanism of mine works for me.

For my 96th post I would like to thank everyone who spent time reading my entries and most especially, to those who posted comments. I hope that this blog brings a positive aura, brilliance, sunshine. I am hoping to write more and better in the days, months and years to come.

Thank You, Kam-sa Hamnida, Terima Kasih, Toa chie, Domo Arigato, Merci, Gracias, Maraming Salamat.

Better late than never…

My blog celebrated it’s anniversary last May 25 but I wasn’t able to write an anniversary blog with my now too tight schedule. I would just like to thank all my readers for the time they spent reading my articles. I would also like to thank them for the comments. I know it’s been a while since I last posted an article and as much as I want to, I can’t promise to post more often since I’m in the adjustment phase of my new found job. To all those people who contributed in one way or another to this blog, thank you. Lastly, thank God for giving me the gift of time and the confindence to share my thoughts and feelings in this blog ‘though I’m not really a writer. Again,

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

and

THANK YOU!

Gah-Sah-Hamnida

All the people around us exist for a reason, some are there to be strong for us when we’re weak, while others make us feel wanted, some exist to keep balance, while some shakes up things, others make us cry so we can stay human while others make us laugh all the time, others makes us go nuts and be crazy while others exist to bring wisdom, and in my life,that’s you.

Whether we like it or not, our lives are somehow connected, we can almost say that we practically grew up together. We’re friends, that’s for sure and you’re one of those people whom I can truly trust. I sincerely hope that you know and you can feel that I really do.

I don’t know what you think about me, I ‘ve done all sorts of crazy things and said a lot of stupid stuffs before. Most of the time, I want to faint when I remember those silly things while talking to you, most especially when we’re face to face. Many times I wished that your memory is so poor that you can’t remember any of the foolishness. ‘Though it’s pretty obvious that you still remember things but never mentioned it directly. You never assumed anything despite of the obvious, you caught me billions of times throwing sureptitious glances at you, which means you are looking at me too, oh here I go again, assuming.

We never talked about it and as I said you never assumed anything, ‘though we know that there is something that exists. We can talk over the phone and chat over YM freely but not the same as when we’re face to face, we both know that it’s not easy, people around us will surely notice the closeness, the way we look at each other and just like me they’ll assume things, things which are far greater than what I assume and sometimes rumors are created out of it.

I must admit that I like you or may be even loved you at a certain point. I even got mad at you for breaking my heart thrice but you never noticed that ’cause I didn’t allow you to. I heard all the rumors and saw the actual evidences, leading me to hold on to the belief that the feelings are mutual but you are just afraid, so I ended up broken hearted. It’s like we’re characters in the story Leaf, Tree and Wind, I am the leaf, you are the tree and ok fine, he’s the wind. What else can a girl do but wait, right?

We had our own love lives, we had lost contact with them but us? we still have our “friendship”. I’ve let you go, it wasn’t easy ’cause you’re presence is still felt every now and then. You might not know the actual day of my birthday, I can’t blame you for being confused and I know dates are your weakness but you still didn’t miss greeting me. Christmas and New Year are not complete without receiving even just a simple greeting from you.

Maybe, you’re one of the “over rated” things is my life but let it be. For I’ve got thousands of reasons to be thankful for having you. You are my strength and my weakness, at times. You’re wisdom gives me realization, you’re optimism makes me see how beautiful life is. When it comes to friendship, you have the perfect timing but other than that?…never mind.

You’re sudden active presence in my life surely will stir up things and I must admit that I don’t want a real life Gossip Girl thing to be in existence, it’ll only complicate things. I am thankful for you, that I would never deny but somehow I am afraid where this might lead again for the nth time for God knows how hard it is to battle my so-called 100 squares of letting go especially when I know I don’t have a reason to get mad at you apart from you doing things and saying things that leads me to stupid misinterpretations.

It’s hard to stop things from happening, especially when it involves things we can’t take control of. I don’t know if I should allow myself to be once again an all too willing victim or if I should use the better part of my brains that is telling me to stop.

So for now, let me just say thanks for having the gift of wisdom and sharing it with me, thanks for giving me a reason to smile no matter how life has treated me badly.

For now, all I can say is “Thank You”.