Brilliant Sunshine

It's just me, thinking out loud

Same Old Story

on February 5, 2011

Sometimes it feels like God is not answering our prayers but the truth is, we just don’t get the answer that we expect or maybe the answer that we want. This has happened before…a long, long time ago, it’s the same old story only on a different costume.

He didn’t make an impression the first time she saw him, apart from the name and the face she doesn’t know anything about him. By some twist of fate, they met again and before they know it became friends. It really was a surprise that even if he appears to be boring for her, he’s actually not, they share quite the same interest, quite the same views, quite the same sentiments and soon enough they are comfortable in each others company. But apart from the obviously blossoming friendship, there are quite a few things that she can’t understand or it could also be she’s analyzing too much that leads her to confusion. He compliments her, when she says her arms are too big, he says it’s perfect, when she doesn’t feel comfortable with how she looks, he tells her that she looks great with a “wow”, when she says she looks like a “bruha”, he says it’s next to impossible. This is not the first time for her to receive compliments but this is the first time that it was from the same guy and in the most unexpected moments. She knows how opinionated he is but she also knows that he’s not that generous in giving praises much more to sugarcoat. She’s happy despite the fact that such compliments causes her to think that it could be some mixed signals of something more. He looks at her in a different way that everybody notices, he wants to be around her often, she doesn’t want to assume anything ’cause it has happened before. ‘Til one day, he asked her out, even if she wants to stop analyzing, she couldn’t help it. He never said a thing, why he treats her differently even to the point of asking her out. He describes her as if she’s the most beautiful girl he has ever known, as if he was bewitched by her beauty. She couldn’t help but wonder why, what’s behind all these? People around them can’t help but notice, so they asked but he keeps on saying “no, there aren’t any feelings”. She doesn’t know how to feel, how to react whenever she hears him say these things. It’s been a long time since she went out, it’s been a long time since someone showed they care, it’s been a long time since she heard something sweet from someone. Her life was lonely, while others are complaining about being with a guy or breaking up with a guy since their teenage years that they don’t even have a chance to deal with their own self, she’s always been dealing with herself for so long. She admits that she’s happy with how he treats her but that doesn’t mean she’s falling for him but she’s not depriving herself of the chance. That was her problem, she was too greedy on giving chances and now that she has finally learned to be fair to herself and give other people the chance to enter her life, it seems that she’s travelling the same road once again. Once upon a time, she met someone who treats her special, she fell for that someone and ended up with a broken heart. With the same signs and even more concrete and evident actions that there could be something more than friendship, she’s travelling the road once again but she believes she is wiser now, to guard herself from falling into the trap. She doesn’t know where he wants to take things or if he wants to, so she reminds herself every now and then that sweet gestures are never assurances. She prayed that God  will send her signals, something that will stop the guessing, the over analyzing, something that could either put an end to all of these or could signal something new. She feels like God isn’t sending her what she asked, ’til one day she woke up and realized, maybe that’s it, the sign is…”there are no signs”. Maybe a part of her is hoping, that destiny is giving her another shot at love after a very long time that’s why she missed it, you can’t blame her, she’s been lonely for quite some time. But whatever it is, she may not have found the love of her life yet but he made her happy, she gained a friend and most importantly, she didn’t end up with a broken heart. It’s the same old story, boy meets girl, they become friends, he treats her in a special way (she thinks), she falls, he says it’s nothing, she ends up with a broken heart. But this time, it’s a different ending ’cause she’s wiser now.

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