Brilliant Sunshine

It's just me, thinking out loud

Footnote to Cuz

on February 3, 2010

I really feel so old writing this stuff, to think that I’m just 7 years older than you are. The times when I used to read you fairy tales has gone too fast without us noticing. Now, I’m living a reality far from those fairy tales while you’re on a journey of exploration and much idealism, a road which every being must get through.

You’ve got a newly found freedom, you’re away from the over supervising eyes of your parents. You think you’ve grown up and that you can do things on your own. You’re spending much more time with your friends, you love them and trust them.

Don’t get me wrong why I’m writing this, I trust you, you’ve been raised in the comforts of a loving and supportive family, I know values have been instilled very well. I trust you, despite of your young mind filled with idealistic views yet strong convictions, I trust you, it’s the people around you whom I do not. Maybe, you’ll argue that if I truly trust you, I’ll trust the people you trust. I must admit you have a point but one’s judgment is never infalliable no matter how experienced you are. I too at times fail on my judgments towards other people, but then, even people way older than me had lapses at a certain point, how much more the ones made by someone very young. These people whom you call “friends” are surely fun to be with, life becomes more enjoyable with them around, more bearable with them to cry with but sad as it is, while some may be true there are a lot who’ll betray you, some of them might even want to watch you fall right in front of their very eyes. I’m not being cynical here, I’m just trying to show you that reality is far from the fairy tale world that a young mind has created and is now thinking of living it. So before you invest too much on your friends keep in mind that you’re family must come first because they will never leave and will always want what’s best for you.

There are teenage experiences which one must not be deprived of but there is also one thing that each and every teenager must never forget, moderation. Hanging out with friends on weekends, watching movies after exams, outings during semestral breaks are considerably moderate. But the moment it exceeds moderation, that is when things to begin to wander on a different path. While teenage life has its perks of being too old to be young, too young to be old, it is also a stage where one must learn how to take responsibility. And I think a teenager’s biggest responsibility is her studies. I know you’re doing well, I’ve heard that many among your class got failing grades while you manage to pass all your subjects, but I would still like to remind you that the subjects are not getting easier but rather more difficult as you approach your diploma. Furthermore, you’ve got a board exam to take coupled by the fact that such profession needs a license or you can’t practice at all. All work and no play makes us dull but pure play and no work will get us nowhere. There’s time for everything, today is your time to study. May i just reiterate one thing Bob Ong mentioned in one of his books (I know you’re a fan), “dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung ‘di mo pagtityagaan, limang dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit.sobrang lugi. kung alam lang ‘yan ng mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela.” I know I don’t need to explain further.

During our conversations, I often said that I understand your complaints ’bout your parents being too strict but believe I’ve been through worse, even up to now, it feels like my mom is an NBI agent while my dad a guardia civil. But don’t you ever go on a rebellion because in the end it will be your future that will be at stake, trust me no matter how unreasonable they are at times, they just want the best for you.

I know you’re being compared to some people, maybe even to me or to our other cousins, they are not trying to insult you or belittle you, they just want you to see a clearer, better and more realistic picture of what they are trying to point out, and please don’t blame us for that, we didn’t tell them to compare you to us.

As for love, maybe you are in love but don’t hurry, believe me in time will come you’re preference will change, looks is one thing but there is more to that. And the law of karma is true, you know what I mean, don’t play with them they might be a better player.

I’m not trying to meddle with your life neither am I being self righteous here. I, too have had my own fair share of mishaps and lapses, I just want to help you, make you realize things before it’s too late. Believe me, balance does exist, balance between being a responsible young adult while enjoying life, maybe hard to find or maintain but it does exist.

Let me end this by saying, it was never promised to be easy only worth it and no one gets to achieve something by sheer luck.

Love,

Your once upon a time fave cuz

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