Brilliant Sunshine

It's just me, thinking out loud

Winds of Change

on December 2, 2009
Winds of Change

Winds of Change

Three years, one profession, two companies, two fields of practice, numerous reports, hundreds of issues, 100 officemates, hundreds of thousands of income but where am I now? I don’t know.

Just recently, my name got longer again by three letters, apart from being a Certified Public Accountant, I am now a Certified Internal Auditor. But, what has changed after gaining another certification? Not much, not a promotion, not even a pay raise, only a longer name. Don’t get me wrong for I am not complaining, I am just looking for something, a place where I can find happiness, fulfillment and prosperity all at the same time.

“The wind is always blowing on your direction”, a friend once told me. Well, life has been very good to me, and I’ve always been so thankful for it. I was able to enter one of the country’s most prestigious university, I got into the most sought after program, I graduated with good grades and passed the so-called most difficult board examination in just one take, so yes, life has been very good to me but I’m not saying that I have a perfect life, I know there are others out there who are more blessed than I am, and they might react on this article, but I digress. I too have my own fair share of difficulties and hardships but only a few or maybe no one among my fellows saw those things.

But as I entered the concrete jungle of the real world, life wasn’t that good anymore but again the people around me didn’t see that. How will they notice such, when I received a call from the country’s most respected auditing firm four hours after being enlisted as a professional, how? They didn’t know how hard it is to prove one’s self, to establish who you are in the business world when you are just at the beginning of your career and you are nothing but a mere dot at the bottom of the food chain. Other people will only see that you took an out of town trip, that your closet is full, that there’s a more than a dozen of shoe boxes kept under your bed but what you’ve gone through and what you’re going through? No, most people don’t know that, they don’t know the things you had to go through.

I never was a bum, I am gainfully employed before reaching 21 and that was also the time when I began experiencing the bittersweet taste of life in the real world. From being a high school Queen Bee, I am now an “Ass”ociate, working my ass up to wee hours in the morning to fix the financials of clients. I don’t give orders anymore, I take them and I am paid to follow them, whether I like it or not. I must surrender to the pointless demands of the boss. I must listen to whatever it is she has to say for after six months, I’ll be at her mercy, whether to be kicked out or remain as an “Ass”ociate, I remained as an “Ass”ociate. After, tremendous adjustments and numerous sacrifices, judgment day came, this time the wind didn’t blew my way, it was so against me that it almost break me, no one knew for I need to put a face, a strong face, a defense mechanism. So I left, companies left and right we’re calling but offers weren’t that lucrative ’til one company called up for an interview and before the day ended, I’m hired. I’ll begin in less than two weeks, I was also shocked. Is the wind blowing towards my direction once again? I thought so but no it’s not, for here I am writing this blog, ’cause I’m not doing anything. Maybe, I should be blamed for I work too fast? But why too fast? It is because this is a pencil pushing 8-hour job that is not putting my skills into its best use. It is insulting everyday, my name is too long for what I am doing, call me conceited but that is how I feel, I am too good for this.

Am I fighting destiny? Maybe, this is not where I am supposed to be that’s why the wind seems to be against me or there is a lesson I need to learn. I’m not saying that I hate bosses and taking orders, I know that’s how the cycle goes and we need to learn by under going such cycle neither am I biting the hand that is feeding me, it pays my bills and takes me to places but I need a purpose, something worthy of my time, something that could make me feel proud of myself that I was able to put into use those two certifications that I worked so hard to attain, is that too much to ask?

Maybe, tomorrow the wind will blow my way once again, I’m not losing hope. Maybe, tomorrow I’ll receive the call that can give me happiness, fulfillment and prosperity.

“Lord, help me keep the faith that one day the wind will once again blow my direction, that I’ll be able to find fulfillment in my career, happiness for myself and prosperity. Anyway, thank you for this job.”

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