Waiting for the Fairy Tale Prince

I used to compare waiting for “The One” to waiting for ride towards a destination. I first came into this thought while I was literally waiting for an FX on my way to school, I ended up undecided between waiting for a few more minutes or just taking the jeepney. I was worried that I’ll be late for school, ’til the thought crossed my mind. In life, we often worry that we’ll be left behind by the people around us and oftentimes, we settle for less than what we want, less than what we deserve. Like the others, I was once a victim, I settled for someone less than what I deserve because I don’t want to be left behind by someone. Thank God, that it wasn’t too late for me to decide to get off that ride for I realized it will go nowhere.

Yesterday, I received an email yesterday entitled, “Let God do the Choosing”, so I suddenly remembered that day while I was waiting for a ride to school. So let me share the email with you.

Waiting sometimes feels like eternity

LET GOD DO THE CHOOSING

If men were like buses, how do you catch one?

A more important questions is – how do you catch the RIGHT one?

Simple : You take only the bus that’s headed to the RIGHT direction.

First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before its made on an emotional one.

What about love?, you ask. I’ll tell you why. “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jer. 17:9). The heart is wilful and is driven by its own agenda It does not consider things rationally and intelligently – it just loves to love! Therefore, you have to point it in the right directions: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).

Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out
his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.

Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe
that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage. Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together. Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively – it is the
decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather facts.

So when you do gather facts, let us compare the process to clothes shopping.

1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship.

Is your potential spouse a member of the same family – the family of God? Scripture is clear on this: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14).

You need to have common interest and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together.

Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and your dreamboat isn’t interested, don’t waste your time. Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he’s not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he’s not
going your direction, get off the bus & wait for the right one.

2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you and God’s hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Prov. 18:22). Note – who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men & women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you.

In God’s perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don’t have to help a guy out because he’s shy. Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want.

The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. Many a woman’s mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: “We love him because he first loved us” (1 Jn 4:19).

Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don’t need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man- your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God’s timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found.

Again – WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you – this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.

3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.

4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man’s pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven’t seen yet. They reveal things about the guy’s character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put
his best foot forward. Don’t stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!

5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don’t like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.

6. Remember that a man’s family reveals the cloth from which he’s cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.

7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? broken relationships? problems in making commitments? including the job market? mood swings? Is a problem always someone else’s fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation?

Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.

8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn’t need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do.

Is your guy guided by a sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person – and you’ll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life. A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with.

You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.

9. Complementarity. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way?

This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes.

When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complementary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition.

If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as
the gift that you are?

The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel – because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive!

God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.

10. Does he have a healthy love & acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you.

A man’s relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ. If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to Christ, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run.

If you and your man can’t soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive.

So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man?

Throughout the biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for the hand that they desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a ride in this life for free.

Your prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I confess that I have not always been as careful as I should’ve been with my heart. From time to time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands. I now commit my heart into Your hands for safekeeping.

Please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. As I learn to celebrate Your love for me, let me learn from Your example what a bridegroom should really be like. Help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me.

As I embrace You as the Lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of Your own heart. As I rest in Your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach me. I ask that You take over this area of my life. Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart. I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me.
Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me. Cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men I meet according to what I see. Help me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on my own understanding. I know that You know what is best for me; therefore I yield to Your choice. In Jesus Name. Amen.

I totally agree with what was written above and I must admit it that I can’t help but think of one specific person but then, there is one thing lacking in him and that is the means to provide physical sustenance in the future. I’m not belittling him neither do I lack confidence in him. I believe that he is recovering maybe, he just needs to reassess his priorities to have focus on the things that urgently needs it. If he’ll be able to fix it then, maybe there can be a chance.

I do think of him as I was reading ‘though I’m not really sure if he’s the one God has chosen for me. Whoever that person maybe, I’ll be here waiting for him, for us to hold each other and take the ride to forever. 

 

Love is holding

“For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth and deep darkness the people; but the Lord will arise over you and His glory will be seen upon you.” (Isaiah 60:2)

“I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled.” (Jeremiah 1:12)

“No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life…I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Joshua 1:5)

Horizon

Staring at my office window with the horizon on my view…
Somehow it gives me comfort,
To know that even at a far distance,
I can still see the place where you must be…
Hoping that as I whisper my longing for you to the wind,
You’ll answer that you’re wishing just the same…

* Found these words saved on my cellphone’s notes, didn’t know when I wrote these…

8 Months of Darkness

We are all wanderers searching for our own promise land. No one ever said that the road getting there is easy. We stumble, we fall, sometimes we get stranded, we get trapped, we face crossroads but still we don’t stop, we go on, after all that is what life is all about.

I finished my early years in school in flying colors, I entered one of the country’s most respected universities and enrolled on one of the most sought after programs in the university. I graduated on the upper bracket of my class, I took the country’s most difficult professional exam and successfully passed it in just one take. In as short as 4 hours after reading my name on the list I received a call from the country’s most respected professional service firm. I am an achiever in my own right, such a feat can’t be achieved by sheer luck but enough of the bragging.

As a kid I thought all I have to do is to get good grades, upon entering the university I focused myself on having those three letters affixed after my name but after achieving all these, I was awaken by the reality that there is more to life. Apart from achieving something in terms of grades the real battle begins outside the gates of the university. Now, I know what the so-called “real world” means. Gone are the days when entering a Sanrio store could have me jumping up and down, life is more complicated now. I used to think that I have the world on a string, I know what I want and how to get it so I work hard for it and eventually get it but now things aren’t that easy anymore.

If there is one thing I am sure of, that is I know I took the right course, I never doubted. But to find myself in the midst of the darkness is one thing I never imagined I’ll be into. At first, I thought that things are just fine, I’m just beginning to navigate this unknown forest and I was hoping that I’ll get used to it in time. But as the day passes by it feels like that my license is being insulted, fulfillment is something that is getting blurry as the days pass. I wasn’t born with such mental prowess to copy-paste. I’m one of those blessed with an intelligence quotient higher than the rest but all I am doing is stare at the monitor in front of me and allow my fingers do the clicking while my overflowing neurons is pleading me to use them. This is not what I dreamed of, I need a reason to be here, a reason not to care if it’s raining outside because I need some other reason other than “it’s paying my bills”. I tried checking on myself, maybe I’m the one who has a problem that I cannot grasp whatever it is that they are asking me to do but I always end up thinking that ‘no’, my IQ can’t be put into question, much more of my competence, it’s just that they are asking me to navigate a sea wherein I am not trained for. I never wanted to shift careers but it seems like they are asking me to do so, I didn’t finish just an ordinary any 4-year course, I’m not destined to do ‘just’ this. How can I do things for His glory when it feels like I’m insulting what He has given me everyday. I’d rather walk the complicated, long and tiring paths ’cause I know that it will lead me to a destination and I have everything on hand to begin with as I walk rather than wander in this dark forest with no paths laid down for me and I have nothing on hand.

I’ve been trusting God’s wisdom but I couldn’t help but ask why. Everday it seems harder to wake up and drag my feet. I don’t want to sit in front of the computer on a Monday morning. I know I’m here for bigger things, there no paths laid down for I must be the one build them but how can I when I know that I’m not in the right place to build paths for me to walk into and others to follow. I know I can do this but please let me do it.

Products of Boredom

My mobile internet connection is so crappy up until today, that’s why I wasn’t able to update my facebook account, thank God it’s weekend so I can use my reliable internet connection at home. Since I was so bored with my hour and a half travel from office to home I need to find something to cure my boredom, so here are the stuffs I’ve written while travelling:

Will you please be afraid? Even just once… Be afraid to lose me…

 

Don’t give room for failures. They might occupy it and eventually consume you. The most you can do now is pray, give all your trust to the Lord but don’t forget to also believe in yourself, for if you won’t, no one else will.

 

The heavens are crying with me tonight as I become honest to myself, that I’m crying because I terribly miss you.

 

Everytime i see you, your eyes are looking at the farthest distance…

Maybe it’s the reason why you don’t see me…

Should I create some? so that maybe…

You can finally see me…

 

I don’t know if I still truly love you or I’m just used to love you…

I’m confused but only one thing is for sure…

You will always be special…

 

(The next one’s really funny, I wrote this more than half a year ago)

I’m an auditor, I maintain independence and objectivity.

So, if I say that you don’t look good together it’s not because I’m bitter…

It’s because it’s the truth

 

I really wonder what’s in you that you have this power over me?

I barely know you, we’re not even friends…

But the first time I saw you…

There’s a magic that no amount of words can describe.

 

I used to believe in destiny…

That the universe conspired to build a bridge from me to you…

I believed that we are destined to be together…

But now that you chose a life away from me…

Should I still believe?

Maybe no ’cause we’re not meant to be together, or

Maybe yes ’cause we’re destined to be apart…

 

What are the chances that we can still meet? That we can still be together? I guess the only hope that I can hold on to is that our sun and moon shines in the same sky.

 

Destiny was finding you…to be with you is another…

 

I let you walk into my life, thinking you’ll make it complete…

But it turned out that you took away everything I have…

 

I once thought you were all I have… I was afraid to let you go… But now that I don’t have you anymore…

I have regained everything that I lost while I was with you…

 

I was able to live each day of my life until the day I met you. Then, I always wanted to be with you. Now, I can’t live without you. Maybe, for some it’s an overstatement, a stupid exaggeration…Maybe yes, I can still live even without you but life won’t have any sense at all.

 

Where do we really live? In a world we can physically touch…

Or in a world we imagine…

You are a part of my reality and my dream but there isn’t really much of a difference at all…

‘Cause either way I can’t touch you…

 

Nobody has a perfect past for nobody led a perfect life, so the moment you decided to accept a person that includes the imperfections of his past.

 

Leagues does exist… that’s why there is love to defy its boundaries.

 

We all belong to different leagues but it doesn’t mean we can’t cross the line to be with someone at the other side.

 

We can’t run away from who we are but that doesn’t mean we can’t be who we want to be and be with someone who will give meaning to who we are.

 

I never had my heart broken over not getting something that I want… you’re my first heartbreak.

I don’t know how I was able to come up with all these, I don’t know where I drew my inspirations from but at least I was able to do something worth doing to bear with the annoyance and discomforts of commuting.

Blogging for the 3rd time

I’m not going to say “Hello World” since this is already my third attempt at blogging. I’ve got blog posts on my friendster account but it’s quite unmanageable so I stopped using it. My second blog attempt is under a different name and it’s only for personal consumption, none of my friends know that I have such a blog, you can only possibly bump into it through search engines, I kept it as a secret blog since the posts are usually twisted, murky and most of the time crazy. So this is my third blog account and I’m hoping that I’ll be able to maintain it.

My thoughts are always overflowing, my brain is quite hyperactive about a hodgepodge of this and that, past and future stuffs, memoirs and daydreams and I want to share it through this blog, after all, I’m a writer inside the four walls of my room. I never took writing seriously but I’ve got a series of notebooks and that includes my famous little black book way back in college, I’ve got quotes, scribbles, poems, two short stories and some other stuffs mostly a product of boredom, crazy infatuation and happiness. Writing has become my therapy for years but unfortunately my writing couldn’t catch up with my hyperactive brain activity.

As much as I could I’ll be posting lots of stuffs here, especially now that I really need an outlet for my hyperactive neurons. So for the third time, I’m leaving a mark on the world wide web.