Who will not fall for the most adorable bitch of them all?

The one who loves her dearly

The one she ends up with

But he’s the one she loves the most

The saying was indeed true for my favorite fiction but here is what I think, in life there will be that someone who will love you more than you love them, someone you love  but doesn’t love as much and lastly, the one you end up with.

Happy Love Month

“It’s suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the new year, to stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. To remember both our triumphs and our missteps, our promises made and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures or closed ourselves down for fear of getting hurt coz that is what new year is all about – getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about ‘what if’ and start embracing what would be. So when that ball drops at midnight and it will drop, let’s remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight but all year long”

- Claire Morgan (Hilary Swank)

This I guess is the most touching part of the movie for most of us, as for me what caused my tears to flow was the chances and the what ifs. It’s really difficult to find it in your heart, up to when shall you give chances, ’cause there are times when your mind is telling you that you’ve given enough but then your heart is asking you what if it takes just one more chance for things to get better. It’s logical and wiser to just continue moving on but your heart is shouting for another chance, just one more. To say that you are confused is an understatement.

Ingrid (Michelle Pfeiffer), the all work no play character that made me cry because of fear that I might end up the same way years from now. That feeling when you are filing for a leave and getting rejected as if they are telling you that you don’t have the right to take a break, that you haven’t worked/sacrificed enough for you to be worthy of the privilege.

Next is Hailey, Abigail Breslin is all grown up now, she’s still looks cute, but I digress. The mother-daughter drama, the teenage angst, who among us cannot relate to this kind of situation? At one point, we’ve suffered almost the same thing, that mama has turned out to be our life’s only enemy. But even if it feels like that sometimes, it is also true that she’s the only best friend that we are sure to have. When Hailey turned her back as she saw Seth kissing another girl and embraced her mom, I can’t help but cry. The young heart that mama is trying to shield from heartaches just got broken and is now back in her arms seeking for some comfort.

The Ashton Kutcher- Lea Michele thing is quite a cliché, it really was predictable but then again, life is a cliché, same old tricks, same old drama but it still thugs the heart like it’s always the first time.

Nurse Aimee (Halle Berry) also made me cry, long distance relationships are painful at times like this. I’ve kind of travelled that road, the feeling is just indescribable. Despite the modern technology, nothing beats presence, nothing beats being close and hearing them breathe beside you.

What would you do today if you knew you would not fail? This line got me thinking and crying at the same time. This line was from Sam (Josh Duhamel). Oh how I wanted to buy a one-way ticket to Singapore and begin a new life, not that I hate my present life and the people in it. I just want to try how it feels to be reborn, how things will work out for me, how it feels when everything around you is brand new, everyone is a stranger, how will I behave when nobody knows who I am. You might be wondering why Singapore, I’m curious how it feels like to live in a different country but I am not that brave enough to go and live somewhere farther than Singapore ‘cause I want to spend time with my family on special occasions, the country’s proximity is ideal for me.

Lastly, it’s Laura and Jensen’s (Katherine Heigl and Jon Bon Jovi) story that made me cry so hard. I wanted 2011 to end and welcome 2012 with new hopes. I want 2011 to be over soon because it feels like while I am in 2011, I am trapped, forever trapped in my “could have been” story that heightened at the early part of the year. Maybe, it’s not anymore the movie that I am crying about but rather I just chose it as a venue, made an excuse to use it as a reason why I am crying. The movie house is dark, I am alone, no one is sitting beside me, I could cry for all I want without having to explain my lonely self. Jensen proposed then left Laura, she was left hanging, she tried to move on and now that she’s ok, he’s back, he wants to be back in her life just when things are falling into place for her. You don’t walk into someone’s life, make a huge impact and walk away just like that, you don’t do that, that is damaging. The transition from believing that you’ve found someone to be with, to being alone again is really painful. Each time you remember how it was, every place you go where you spent time together, the songs that you listen to whether intentionally or not, it hurts every time you remember while you are trying to forget and act as if nothing happened, as if it was just a dream and now you’re awake to the reality of a lost love. His return wouldn’t have caused that much of a trouble if she’s totally over him but the thing is, she’s not. Oh how you want to just slap them, hoping that all the pain will be gone, hoping that it will somehow make it quits but no, it’s not enough ‘cause ‘til now you are still desperately convincing yourself that you’re over the person and it’s a lot more difficult that they are standing right in front of you. *Now, I’m on the verge of crying again*

To end this here are some of the quotes I love, thanks to www.ranker.com:

It only happens once a year: New Year’s Eve. It’s a time when hopeless can be romantic, and a resolution can become a revelation. And when one night can change everything.

“I’ve been splotting that slap for years. It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be.” (Slaps him again) “That was closer.”

“Remember, second chances don’t expire until midnight.”

“Mom, I’m over it. I’m over it and I’m over you! You’re just some wannabe hipster who judges everything and who’s too scared to take a chance.”

“Serendipity. You don’t mess with serendipity.”

The timeliness of this post has banished, the movie is not anymore shown in the movie house and the first month of the year has ended yesterday. Anyway, I’m still posting it despite the delay, I still feel it’s a worthy post, instead of just dumping it on my piling bunch of unfinished entries. This entry reveals how much of a tear jerker I am, how simple scenes and movie lines can make me cry which is partly the reason why I enjoy watching a movie alone. But it could also be I was just so stressed out at this time of the year, I’ve got too much on my plate when the movie was shown, I’ve got graduate school, year end is one, if not the most challenging part of the year for accountants and not to mention that same time last year I entertained the thought that I might have found the one. It was just so lonely and painful to see how different things are now from last year. Now, I’m explaining myself why I shed tears..hahaha..No matter how late, let me greet you again a Happy New Year!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 14,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 5 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

While I described my 2010 as life changing, my 2011 was mind boggling. There were a lot of confusions to resolve and quite big decisions to be made. Also, 2011 went by so fast that I hardly notice that it’s about to end. So here I am recounting the year that is now about to end in a few hours.

The main reason why 2010 was life changing for me is work, for 2011 most of the things that happened in my life still concerns work. The first few days of 2011 wasn’t so kind, I thought I was about to lose my job or that I have to leave and find another one, I even computed how much am I still indebted to my company, January 8 is truly unforgettable with all the “other” memoirs that comes with it. It was also on the first month of 2011 that I moved out of the house to avoid the daily hassle of commuting. Moving out is really a big deal for me, away from the comforts of home and all the conveniences of living with your family. It’s still a very good feeling to come home everyday to the people who truly love you but there are some situations where practicality must be considered, I guess that is where I am now.

Work presented more challenges, I experienced what it’s like to be the auditee and not the auditor, it was tough but we all survived.

The meaning of the word “holiday” was devoid for 2011 due to workload and the crazy timelines that come with it, not to mention the strictly followed company calendar, but travels still abound 2011. I was able to revisit Baguio (my annual visit began 2008 but I skipped 2010), still not sure if it will continue this coming 2012 but it always feels good to revisit this place, just a quick weekend escape away from work. Finally, despite the failed attempt last 2010; I finally crossed out Hong Kong and Macau on my list of places to visit. I truly enjoyed what it’s like to be a child again when you see the Disney Princesses coming into life and of course Mickey and Minnie Mouse. The fireworks were truly enchanting; it really felt like “A Whole New World”. I was almost literally jumping with joy taking pictures while reminiscing the scenes from Boys Over Flowers at The Venetian, too bad we missed the gondolas. I’ll just ride the real thing in Venice…someday. I really enjoyed the sights and memory that comes with each of the pictures, the trip was worth it, hoping to go back with my family. I was also able to go back to Cebu, been there for some work assignment in 2007. It’s just a domestic trip but it felt like being in a different time zone, we were like four hours behind. It truly was a relaxing trip and unforgettable mainly due to the Sky Walk, as I’ve said “It’s not how long you’ve been together; it’s the intensity of what you had to go through together.” That experience was truly intense. After being recharged in Cebu, it’s now time for the dreaded (?) Annual Business Planning, for this reason we were given the chance to visit Japan. It was a business trip but thank God that we were able to roam around Tokyo, enjoy the sights, shop some and take a lot of pictures, I really want to see more of Japan. Finally, the much awaited trip of the year, the Bellarocca invasion. I think I can call it as a fashion trip, spend 3 days and 2 nights but I lost count of the outfits, still got three left in my bag when I got home, reserved for the next fashion trip? Misibis, please be kind. To end the year, finally swam on the beaches of Laiya, been to a lot of beaches in the Philippines but it really was my first time in Batangas.

I also found a new hobby this year, photography. Just recently, some of the pictures I posted somewhere in cyberspace was liked and followed by a certain photography group. But I’m still hesitant on continuing this one ‘cause I like it more to be in the picture than be the one taking the picture. Obviously, 35 albums just for 2011 from my wavy to curly hair then back to straight hair, from the house to some parts of asia, everything was captured. Being the learner that I am, I’m enjoying discovering things on photography ‘though I’m having issues on my DSLR’s weight… haha…I’m also glad that despite being busy, I was still able to maintain my blog and still gaining lots of views, hoping to monetize it come 2012.

After all the hesitations, after having to choose between almost mutually exclusive options, I finally pushed through with my plans of entering graduate school, it’s not easy to juggle a busy work schedule with schoolwork on the side but I know it’s going to be worth it. But I’m still not closing doors for the other option.

For the most controversial part, read something over twitter saying that only one out of four people taking chances in love becomes successful. For 2011, happy for the one who obviously got successful to my two other friends, we had almost the same story, guess it just wasn’t the right time, place or person, some things are just not meant to be, let’s regroup come 2012 and be the one out of four…haha..

That’s how 2011 was, not that great but I made it through, thank God. I’m not making resolutions for 2012, I‘m setting goals and I don’t care what the Feng Shui says for 2012, I ‘m just keeping the good fight of faith, 2012 is going to be great!

*Written December 31, 2011

It’s almost everybody’s favorite time of the year. The season for families and friends to gather together, share blessings, enjoy life and be thankful to our Savior, Jesus Christ.

To my regular readers, followers and even to those who just happen to come across my blog:

May you feel and share the warmth and joy of love this Christmas.

Thank you!

There are times when we don’t really have the right to get hurt, but getting hurt and feeling the pain is not a matter of having the right to feel it, it isn’t about some sort of entitlement, ’cause you just feel it, you’re not in control. Given a choice, it would’ve been better to just feel things when you really have the right to feel it but it’s not like that, feelings just flow in your system whether you like it or not, it’s not a choice.

The problem with not having the right to feel something is that you can’t freely express it, you can’t just let it out, you can’t walk up to the person and slap their face ’cause as mentioned, you don’t have the right, you are not entitled. So I guess, that is one of the reasons for anonymous blogs, a venue to say things left unsaid, spill emotions which are suppressed regardless of who may read it, they don’t know you anyway.

It’s almost 6pm, there’s a beautiful sunset in the horizon, my heart melted.

I stepped out of the office, saw a guy wearing a light green colored polo, I sighed.

I passed by the giant Christmas tree, I can’t help it but smile.

I saw some pink roses, my face turned red.

I went inside the steak house, I can’t help but feel the longing.

I saw the pasta place by the window, I can’t help but be reminded.

I tried some sushi, the memories are still fresh.

The fake snow fell, my mind is now dizzy with flashbacks.

I looked up, the moon is beautiful tonight, my thoughts wandered.

I picked on the fruits at the top of the cheesecake, I can still feel the hole in my chest.

The plane took off just above me, my heart got broken for the nth time.

I know that the days to come will be the most difficult time for me.

Each and every thing around me reminds me of what has been.

But I need to stop recounting everything,

Stop the what ifs and the might have beens.

All I have to do is hope for the best on what will be.

I think of resigning when:

1. It’s 2AM, everybody is sleeping but I still can’t go home
2. After the above, my boss is still thinking that I haven’t done enough
3. The word “holiday” has left my dictionary
4. For the nth time, I can’t leave the office to go on a date even if it’s already 7:30 PM because there’s something urgent that needs to be done
5. When process improvement means additional 3 to 5 hours of work
6. Everytime they say “No Budget” for the necessaries
7. I can’t take advantage of airline seat sales because of my unpredictable schedule
8. I always miss dinner with friends ’cause I still have work to do
9. Everytime I hear that the same job earns thrice as much abroad
10. I have to ask permission from my boss if I can go on a date even if it’s a weekend
11. Everything has become boring ‘cause I’m not learning anymore
12. You realize that even if you eat fire to just get everything done, you are not getting a promotion ‘cause no one is retiring yet
13. My boss is a total bitch
14. I’ve become a stranger to my family, ’cause I’m always at the office
15. There’s a post in the bulletin board saying: “No Bonus this year!”

I (want to) resign!

 Feelings We Need Words For

By P. Luna

P. Luna lives and works in Atlanta.

 

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